Send a formal FOIA Request to the NSA, FBI and DEA demanding everything they have on you—just fill out this simple form! They're required by law to mail each one of us a written response. Maybe after they're buried under a mountain of paperwork they'll think twice about ignoring the Constitution and spying on everyone.
A. The Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) gives you the right to access information from the federal government. When you submit a FOIA request to a government agency, they're legally required to respond to you.
A. Yes. The feeling here is hard to describe, especially because the time lag with postal mail means you will probably forget you did this, and spend a few milliseconds staring at the return address wondering what the hell is inside the envelope.
A. These agencies print out your request and includes a copy in their letter back to you. So the ASCII art makes it more awesome both for you, and the employee assigned to your request. Photos coming soon.
A. The statistical chances of this are low, but there's only one way to find out how low: millions of data points!